A question for an ex girlfriend

If I had it my way I would walk up to someones ex girlfriend when I randomly see them in the produce section eyeing a zucchini. They are eyeing it because they need a zucchini because they are making zucchini bread but this particular piece of produce is labeled 'summer squash', and she's not sure if it is the same thing. It looks like a zucchini. How do I know this is someones ex girlfriend? Well because most girls who take time to delineate between summer squash and zucchini are someones ex girlfriend. I would ask them:
Have you ever ran into someones ex girlfriend and wanted so badly to ask them about the relationship? What went wrong? Have you seen him pee? Does he make a face when he orgasms when he's drunk. When he's sober? Does he make noises when he sleeps, like a little laugh or a little whimper? Do you think that he'd ever hit anyone? Hit a girl? Would you/did you hit him? What do you think that he would have done if you did? Do you still think about him? Is he much more savvy with words and girls than he pretends to be? How much of what he says would you consider 'bullshit'? How much of it was genuine? Do you think that someone can be completely sincere in the moment, but once out of it, they suddenly don't mean a word of it? Did he ask you to put your finger up his butt? Did you do it? Did he like it? Did you? Would you do it again? Do you miss him? How much? Does he miss you? Are you sure.